There are six abilities for each character (rated on a scale of 3 to 18): weakness, stupidity, foolishness, clumsiness, cowardice, and ugliness. Once these are rolled for, a class must be decided for your character.
A weakness rating of 13 to 18 should be considered for the INVALID class.
A stupidity rating of 13 or higher may be a GONZO WIZARD.
A foolishness rating of over 13 may be a HOLY JOE.
A clumsiness rating of 13 and higher qualifies character to be a SNITCHER, and entitles him to last draw of the sword.
A high cowardice rating entitles character to run away at any time.
A high ugliness rating is disgusting, and we won't stand for it.
Adjusting Ability Scores
If a character is particularly weak in one area, and strong in another, the player may choose to do one of the following things:
Firstly, the player may choose to increase the weakness of the stronger area so as to even out the powers of the character.
Secondly, the player may completely eliminate the weaker score, so as to even out the powers of the character.
Thirdly, the player may raise the lower score at a penalty of $50. Do not pass "GO". Do not collect $200.
Additional Character Classes
Theoretically, a player may be anything the MC lets him be, but he generally ends up a fool anyway. However, if players insist in not partaking of the wonderful panorama of exciting characters we have prepared for the basic version, they may wish to try their hand at role-playing a character class from ADVANCED CAVERNS & CHAMELEONS. Note however that these characters must still start at the same inexperience level as the other players, and all must wok towards the ultimate goal of impropriety.
With this in mind, we present some extra character classes from AC&C:
Holy Joe Abilities
Holy Joes have the ability to affect the unliving. If the Holy Joe is successful in his or her affection roll, the unliving are thereupon reduced to the status of slaves, and will follow the Holy Joe around, only to become a social and financial burden to him. In addition to this ability, Holy Joes may always beg for money, or exact it by various sorts of "confessions" (e.g. "tortures").
Snitcher Abilities
A Snitcher has certain abilities as listed below. To use these effectively, he must be present in an embarrassing situation, must be wearing clean socks, and must have a copy of the Wall Street Journal under his arm. If all these conditions are met, a Snitcher may use his abilities if he rolls a 45 on a 44-sided die.
Level 1 -- chew gum, walk, speak, do a comedy routine
Level 2 -- add, subtract, eat, bounce superballs
Level 3 (and above) -- multiply, divide, act silly, clean floors
EXAMPLE: We felt it was necessary to give you clods an example of a Snitcher at play, so let's look in on "Stanley the Snitcher" as he works on a problem. Stanley soon finishes the math problem, deducing wisely that 2 + 2 = 5. He then goes to an iron-bound chest and tries to work the lock off.
Rolling a 01 on the 100% dice, he tears a fingernail off on the zipper that holds the lid shut. Whipping out his trusty but highly unstable plastic explosive, Stan pounds it vigorously into the crevices of the zipper with repeated blows of a heated iron mallet. The resulting blast tears off the lid of the chest and Stanley's hands. The chest contained a collection of rare bottles, all of which were shattered at detonation.
Later, after having applied tourniquets to both of his arms, Stanley is walking down an unlit corridor alone when a party of evil wizards walk by. He announces that he will hide in the shadows. The wizards hear him clearly, and turn him into a toad. His tourniquets now too large to fit his arms, he begins to bleed again, croaking soon after.
Character Alignment
Characters may be of any alignment of the following choices: law abiding tax-paying white Anglo-Saxon protestant (straight and/or nice), totally uncaring, or criminalistic sneaky shifty-eyed fast-talking creep (weird and/or naughty).
Example of Character Alignment
Since philosophy was never anyone's major study (well, never anyone we knew), it is necessary to present an example of what we mean by a character's philosophic standing, or alignment. Note that this is not to be confused with automotive alignment, though if a character does act out of alignment he or she should be taken to the garage for repairs.
THE SITUATION: The party has encountered a hamster leading a pack of wild half-elves. It is impossible for the party to escape unless the half-elves are convinced that the hamster is in fact a pixie spy. Each half-elf is openly carrying a valuable item and at least five deadly weapons.
A Straight Nice character would be polite to the half-elves, offer to take their cloaks, and not lie about the hamster's truly un-pixieish origins. This character is liable to be abused, and how.
A Straight Naughty character would be polite to the half-elves for a couple moments and then, with an angered cry, attempt to put the hamster under arrest for crimes against the state, and darkly hint at its "inferior" pixie origins.
A Weird Nice character would be friendly to the half-elves, but wouldn't make much sense. There would be a fair chance that the resulting confusion would cause the hamster to confess to its conspiratorial dealings with the pixies, even though no such thought had ever occurred to it before.
A Weird Naughty character would probably scream and charge headlong at hamster and half-elves, babbling maniacally about pixies, and just as probably get itself creamed.
A Totally Apathetic character would not give a damn what happened.
Cost of Equipment and Weapons
Weapon - Cost
Axe - 50 gold pieces
Spear - 15 g.p.
Bow - 10 g.p.
Nuclear - 17,000,000,000 g.p.
Sword w/Scabbard - 10 g.p.
Sword w/o Scabbard - 10 g.p.
Scabbard w/o Sword - 15 g.p.
Sharp Pencil - 1 g.p.
Acid - 7 g.p.
Big Stick - 6 g.p.
Mine - 40 g.p.
Bazooka - 40 g.p.
Quiver of 20 Arrows - 1 quarter
1 Arrow - 1 penny
Arrow (sharp end) - 1 kalira
Arrow (feathered end) - 40 kalira
Backscratcher - 45 yen
Trident (3-pointed spear) - 2 g.p.
Trident (missile) - 1 g.p.
Handbuzzer - 0 g.p.
Steel-Tipped Boot - 1 g.p.
Pin, Safety - your first son
Pin, Straight - your first daughter
Cannon, Small - your wife
Cannon, Large - a free lunch
Insect Repellent - 400 silver dollars
String - 4 g.p.
Automobile - Free, gas extra
Wet Noodle - 6 g.p.
Plate Mail - 10 g.p.
Splint Mail - 5 g.p.
Chain Mail - 3 g.p.
United States Mail - 20 c.p.
Belt - 40 farthings
Ascot - 36/37 g.p.
Bowtie - 10 cents
Straight Tie - $10
Blouse - $39.99
Brassiere (small) - 12 g.p.
Brassiere (large) - 120 g.p.
Brassiere (ex. large) - 1200 g.p.
Brassiere (training) - 1/2 g.p.
Truss - 1/2 quarter
Jockstrap - 1/4 half
Boots, Soft - 3 silver pieces
Boots, Hard - 5 silver bells
Boots, Cement - 10 silver elves
Pinstripe - 1 g.p. per stripe
Beanie - 4 francs
Underwear - 30 pesos
Socks - 1 g.p. each
Monster Costume - 10 g.p.
Shampoo - 2 g.p.
1 Day Food Rations - 5286 g.p.
Liquid Aatrex - 3 g.p.
Jai-alai Set - 19 yen
Gasoline - $500/gal.
Languages
The "language" spoken throughout the "land mass" is known by most "player characters". This collection of vowels and consonants is known as Gibberish. Everyone and everything in the world of C&C (excluding mouthless organisms) can speak this national tongue. There are also languages peculiar to the individual character classes and nasties, plus the alignment languages (Straight Nice, Weird Naughty, etc.) No matter what the player speaks, his opponent will usually attack. Note that a stupidity rating of 12 or higher entitles the player to not speak one language per point above 12.
Inheritance
Last Wills are of utmost importance in C&C, due to high character turnover. Note that the MC may tax up to 175% of the total value of all Wills, payable by the heir. This may seem somewhat unfair, but remember that this is a fantasy game, so reality has little bearing here. It's much more fun to pretend to be weak and grow weaker through one's efforts than to wallow in the comfort and slow successes of everyday modern life.
"Hopeless Characters"
Every once in awhile a character comes along who is not weak in anything. Characters that have no imperfections and those that have special abilities that may help them in a cavern may be recommended by the MC to stay home. The MC will not want to risk a character entering his cavern with the unfair disadvantages of strength.
Number of Characters
The MC will usually not allow a player to have any characters, thereby not letting him in the game.
Character Record Sheet
Readers are advised to turn the page if they wish to see what a sample character record sheet looks like. If they do not wish to see what a sample character record sheet looks like, don't turn the page. (Editors Note: If you don't want to see the sample character sheet, don't click here. -CA 2/97)
