Part 9: The Ending

Inspirational Reading

Aarns, John & Mary Sugatt. The Wonderful World of Afghans.

Adley, Otto. O Proud Chameleon; A Lizard's Love Match; Chameleon of My Dreams.

Bedford, Martin. A Short History of Chairs, Tables and Pieces of Wood.

Benbow, Ronald. Municipal Codification and Its Ramifications on the Multiplication of Youngsters.

Blueg, Otto. Chameleons Against the Desert!; The Attack of the Vicious Orange Gelatinoids.

Budge, E.A.W. The Egyptian Book of the Dead.

Charles, John Henry. Sex and the Single Chameleon.

Crabbe, Scarde. Gnomes and Other Loaded Devices; Exploding Dwarves.

Crippen, Billy. Yet Another D&D® Ripoff; Advanced Yet Another D&D® Ripoff.

Cover, Arthur Byron. The Platypus of Doom and Other Nihilists.

Debnam, Betty. "The Mini Page", Vols. 2 through 4.

Debrett, Johnson. People Who Have Died. (2 vols.)

DeSade, Marquis. 120 Days of Sodom.

Dolenz, Mickey, Davy Jones, Michael Nesmith and Peter Tork. The Monkees Go MOD !

Ed, Mister. My Life in Television; 101 Fantasy Games to Play with Your Horse.

Eleihu, Manu. A Report on Interracial Relations on Earth.

Foster, Alan Dean. Splinter of the Mind's Eye, et al.

Friedman, Bob. What's A Nice Jewish Boy Like You Doing in the First Baptist Church?

Green, Gabriel. Let's Face the Facts About Flying Saucers.

Hall, Johnson. Karma and Your Karmann Ghia; A Princess of Neptune; I Hate Elves.

Haney, Bob. "Brave and the Bold" Comic No. 108.

Hein, Piet. Grooks.

Hoffman, Abbie. Steal This Book.

Jo, Mi Won. Chameleons of the Orient; Asian Chameleons; The Great Imperial Chameleon, et al.

Keel, John. Why UFOs?; The Mothman Prophecies.

Kernberg, Otto, M.D. Borderline Conditions and Pathological Narcissism.

Maenchen-Helfen, Otto. The World of the Huns.

McCoffee, Annie. Chameleonsong; Chameleondrums; The White Chameleon; Chameleoncolor; Chameleonbathtub; Chameleoncomputer; Chameleonbagpipes, et al.

Meshuginah, David Otto. Blood and Carnage in the Castle Montage; Red Dripping Bloody Ooze, et al.

Miller, Arthur. Death of a Salesman.

Mornell, Pierre, M.D. Passive Men, Wild Women.

Munsterberg, Hugo. The Ceramic Art of Aldabra.

Norman, John. Raiders of Gor.

Otto, Otto. Is There Life After Fantasy Role-Playing Games?; Orcs Abound!; Incredible Mushroom Adventures; Where Is Suzie's Other Pixie?

Phlegm, Coleslaw. Solarplexus; Borborygmy for Toddlers.

Rose, Mark and John Christopher Adams. Caverns & Chameleons; Dowsing: Some Call it Radiesthesia.

Scarry, Richard. Richard Scarry's Great Big Mystery Book.

Schichstoffelfranz, Fred. Immense Dragon Wings Over Schichstoffelfranzionia.

Schulz, Charles. You've Done It Again, Charlie Brown; Snoopy Come Home; Charlie Brown's All-Stars; It's The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown, et al.

Scott, Virginia Otto. Unfortunate Magician; Extremely Unfortunate Magician; Dead Magician.

Smegma, Charles. The History of Farbs: Toy Cars for a Lifetime.

Smith, Karen. Slave Women and the He-Gods of DuParna.

Smithfisher, Phyllis. How To Take Care of Your Iguana; The Year of the Chameleon.

Sophocles. The Chameleon of Thessaly.

Tatum, Jack. They Call Me Assassin.

Thomas, Dave. The Champion of Katan'nar.

Toaster, Milton. "My Sexual Experiences with the British Royal Family", True Bull Magazine, Vol. 3, pgs. 24-5.

Valker, Tamuran. Another Bizarre Title; Name That Chameleon.

Valley, Muffy. Grody Monsters.

Wilcox, Samuel. Unicorn Horns; Samuel Wilcox's Great Big Fantasy Book.

Wini, Pendy. Chameleonquest. (3 vols.)

Wynan, Sally. How To Beat the World's Leading Role-Playing Games; How To Kick the FRP Habit.

About A Co-Author (c. 1983)

Mark Rose is an enigma, even to himself, and this frightens him very much. Born in 1963 in Erie, Pennsylvania (a city Rose quite seriously describes as "the greatest city on Earth"), he now lives in the state capital of Harrisburg, and can remember little else inbetween. He happens to be looking for a sincere, quiet relationship with a loving lady and Basil Rathbone's favorite hat.

About Another Co-Author (c. 1983)

John Christopher Adams was born in 1962, at Syracuse NY, where he hopes to return one day. He is a writer of science fiction/fantasy and satire, his work enabling him to attend the Pennsylvania Governor's School For the Arts (Summer '78) and Bard College (Class of '84). He is now working on various ideas for graphic novels. He is a published cartoonist. He is at this writing still stuck with living with his parents in Harrisburg PA, along with a 15-foot long trilobite named MetEddy from nearby Three Mile Island.

THE CAVERNS & CHAMELEONS GAME FAMILY:

BASIC CAVERNS & CHAMELEONS, Complete Basic Game Set. Everything needed to begin playing C&C: Basic Rules Book, Multisided Dice, Loaded Pistol* , Module A1: The Secret Bowl of the Applejacks -- all in a cheaply drawn upon manila envelope

* - Supplies of this particular item are limited.

BASIC CAVERNS & CHAMELEONS, Basic Rules Book only

ADVANCED CAVERNS & CHAMELEONS, Nasties Notebook. Over 350 listings, from Achoo to Zitpicker. Illustrated, but poorly Coming Soon

ADVANCED CAVERNS & CHAMELEONS, Players' Little Helper. Complete information on levels, levels, levels, levels, levels, levels, levels, and more Coming Soon After That

ADVANCED CAVERNS & CHAMELEONS, Master of Caverns' Book of the Dead. A compilation of ways to slaughter off characters, designed specifically for the MC This One Will Take A While

ADVANCED CAVERNS & CHAMELEONS, Ye Gods! Compiled lists of beings with utter perfection, omnipotence and indefeatability, and how to use them to screw up your MC during C&C campaigns Coming Eventually

ADVANCED CAVERNS & CHAMELEONS, Villain Volume. More and yet more creatures for hopeless adventurers to die at the hands of. Makes you wonder what kind of planetary ecology can support all these predators. When will it all end? When we have enough money, of course. Coming When The Market Will Bear It

MODULE A1 - The Secret Bowl of the Applejacks. (This adventure is especially designed for beginning suckers to the game. For use with Basic C&C game rules.) Smileyland is being terrorized! Who is killing the kingdom's children at their breakfast tables? Prince Fred thinks that it's the work of evil trolls - but you can read the title! Coming Very Soon

MODULE B1 - The Royal Headache (Basic C&C) Someone has stolen Prince Fred's brain away, and it now hangs but inches above a running Cuisinart. Your job? Get it back! But can you recapture the monarch's mind -- without being photographed? Coming, But Let's See If C&C Sells First

MODULE D1 - Mr. Demon (Advanced C&C) There's a new face in town - but it wants to eat you. What will you do about such an ornery next-door neighbor? Coming

MODULE G1 - Glaciers & Glowworms (Basic C&C) The wild arctic frontiers open before you, but the only thing you brought to eat was ice cream. Let's hope those penguins are cooperative targets. Coming

MODULE S1 - Stalactites & Stalagmites (Basic C&C) It's a beautiful day to go spelunking. Everything goes fine... until your guide gets his head bit off. Better bring your weapons and a universal blood donor. Coming

MODULE ZF4 - The Haunted Secret of the Evil Mystery (Advanced C&C) What danger lurks on your quest? Who is behind it all? What dark thought motivated every reason for your doing all that you are about to do? Why are you forced into this heinous situation? And just what is going on? Or are you being led into a trap? Come Again?

Original CAVERNS & CHAMELEONS Collector's Editions

• CAVERNS & CHAMELEONS, fifty volume set, hand-bound leather, buffed, inset with 24k gold and various precious and semi-precious gems, all in a polished solid oak bookcase * $1.00

CHAMELEON CRAPS Randomizers - These geometric anomalies are all the weird dice you've looked and longed for, but couldn't find anywhere else. All in one package are the 0, 1, 2, 3, 5, 268 1/4-sided and 100% dice. Guaranteed or our money back! Instructions included. $5.00

THE CHAMELEON - The original C&C fanzine! Only publication in the U.S. that's by, for, and about C&Cers! Published once every two months, we promise a humor-filled romping satire of FRPG, SF, fantasy, etc. AND cutting reviews of publications in FRPG, SF, fantasy, etc.! We're legit! If you believe us and can spare the dough, send the following amount for a year (6-issue) subscription It Never Happened

CAVERNS & CHAMELEONS Character Records - A pad of 3 record sheets covering absolutely every fact regarding your C&C character placed on a spacious but conveniently sized 2" by 2" file card Coming Someday

OTHER IDIOCITIES FROM TSAR

Squabble of Sorcerers - Game of Frustration between two semi-retired Gonzo Wizards. Might even liven up C&C; Rules, Die Cut Counter and Boards, plus a chess set in case boredom sets in that far Coming

Chainmailing - Rules for writing chain letters (plus threats) Coming

Atomic Phantasmagury - Exciting game for science fiction fans featuring immediate death of all players through radiation poisoning from the specially-prepared game pieces This Is Just A Joke

Star Snoop - Complete boardgame of in-laws, peeping toms, and invasions of privacy in space: makes a great gift for nosy stepmothers or perverted friends Coming

Land of the Gerbil-Stompers - Exciting, action-filled game where cruelty to animals is the norm. Played on a colorful map of Smileyland, this game is both educational and sadistically fun. 2 to 8 players, heavy boots not included. Heh-Heh

Gimme My Intergalactic Empire - Greed and lust over Imperial dominions for the very young. Coming, maybe

Accessories

Small Hex Sheets - $2.00

Small Hex - $.01 ea.

Small Pennsylvania Dutch Hex - $3.00

Spare Bullets - Sold Out

Automatic Dice Roller - Sold Out

Automatic Hex Dispenser - Sold Out

Automatic Bullet Dispenser - Sold Out

Paper - 15 cents

Pencil - 25 cents

NASA Shuttle Tracking Computer Model 136-1149M - $15,000,000,000.00

To receive most everything listed above for free, send two first class prostitutes to:

Please allow 4 to 6 weeks for delivery. Include $2.00 with each order for postage and handling. Money orders only. We don't trust you worth a cent, slime mold.